I was in a car wreck. My girls were in the car.

It was his fault. He ran a red light. The worst of the bodily damage to people was where the airbag scraped up my forearms. My girls got small scrapes from their seatbelts.

Total loss on my beloved '99 Chevy Lumina. Just under $3000 for it. I paid $2000 plus taxes to get that car.

I've got a boat of a new-to-me car now. An '88 Lincoln Towncar. As a gift from a church friend.

This was back on the 28th of June.

Such mercy and grace even though I've been a worse son than usual...And I spit in His face still...

And still He loves me.

Today wasn't a great day for me, near the end. My 4 year old didn't want to leave daycare. So I bribed her with a trip to the gym. She left quite happily. I needed to go anyway. I've been neglecting the gym since the accident (due to work scheduling as well, but...)

She didn't want to leave the gym. Though frustrated, I stayed collected and ended up carrying her out. She was crying, demanding to stay, not giving her sister's shoes to their rightful owner and putting hers on, hiding under a slide. I chastised her in the car, and explained how her behavior was unacceptable. As usual, she was almost calm by the time I was done chastising...And bawling when I told her a second later that I still loved her, and I held her close with a reminder that I will always love her.

After dinner, I asked her if she remembered my saying she would get no dessert. She did. I'd fixed two bowls of ice cream. (And washed three bowls.) I asked her if she knew whom those bowls were for. She did. Not her. I sent her out of the kitchen and made a third. She started to cry. I gave her sister the one I'd made for her, and set mine by my desk.

Then, I gave my youngest her bowl and asked if she knew what "not deserving something" meant. She didn't quite understand. "It means you shouldn't get it because you were bad." Then I explained grace to her. Getting something you don't deserve.

I wonder if she, on some level, is deliberately disobedient to test my claim of always loving her no matter how she behaves.

I wonder if she's surprised that I still love her.

I hope she'll see the parallel with God.

After the ice cream was gone, she headed to bed. Her sister stayed up and watched the rest of Smallville Season 4 Episode 6 with me.

When she came up to me to say goodnight, I told her that both she and her sister were a gift to me from God.

And then...

Her reply...

Left me utterly dumbfounded.

"I know."

...

...


"Who told you?"

"Nobody. I just know." (paraphrased)

I know Who told her. And I let her know Who told her.

Indescribable. Unimaginable.

Who are You, that You are mindful of me...
Who has sullied Your name so oft, knowingly and not...
Who has spit in Your face right after talking to You...

You are my Lord. My Savior. My Father. My Maker.
You are the Lover of my soul. You are the Almighty.
You are Yeshua ben Yosef. You are Yeshua ben Elohim.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Spirit. Thank you, God.